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I don't want to sound negative or anything, but, I need to express my feelings here. It's hard to express how I feel without people calling me something rude or telling me to shut up or thinking I want attention. Usually I post my thoughts on twitter but I don't want to post something too personal there, I feel safer posting here because I've been on DeviantART longest.
  Lately I've been suffering quite badly with anxiety. I have not long finished college, and I'm not really sure what direction to take. My parents want me to get a job, which is the right thing to do considering I don't want to go to university. However, my dream is to become a youtuber, most of my days I spend drawing either to practise my skills or make videos. I only want a part time job, because my mum is asking for rent money so I need one. 

I'm applying for cleaning jobs because I have panic attacks at just the thought of anything else. I'm so terrified to work and terrified of meeting people it's really getting me down... I've had 3 previous jobs, and only one was bearable, the other two I stayed there for two weeks... People tell me to get over it and that I'm pathetic, which doesn't help. I have not even heard back from any cleaning jobs, I still panic at the thought of doing one of those, but I need money, and I panic at the thought of not being able to pay my mum. I quit my bearable job because I'd been there so long and wanted to focus on college.
I recently had a job interview for a small shop, and had an anxiety attack in the night because I was overthinking everything about it even though I didn't know if I got it yet (which I didn't anyways so pointless worrying). And lately I've just been getting constant worries over tiny things that most people don't worry about. Like the feeling of being trapped in a place I don't want to be and never achieving my dreams. I hate it and I want to be able to do it...

It happens with every day life situations too, for example social situations, health situations etc, and I have really excluded myself and I stay in my house which has probably made it worse.. because then that makes me feel very lonely. I don't feel my parents understand, they've shouted at me saying I make up excuses and need to snap out of it. It's sometimes difficult to deal with when they do that. 

I used to see a counseller in college, obviously I can't afford anything like that now (vicious circle) and I am trying camomile tea (which is gross, but helps me sleep when I drink it at night.) I just wondered if anyone could help/ have any more advice to give me. I just want to be able to do things in life without panicking over every little thing and overthink to drastic and ridiculous outcomes.

Thanks for reading, I'm sorry if this is depressing... I appreciate the help in advance :hug:
  • Mood: Emotional
  • Listening to: Nothing
  • Reading: What I am writing
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Eating: Beef Curry
  • Drinking: Orange Juice


Journal History


ItsCloctorArt's Profile Picture
Cloctor Creations
Artist | Student | Traditional Art
United Kingdom
My name is Chloe Block, I'm 19. I love drawing, I have been drawing since I was very young and started my favourite style portraits when I was about 12 :D
I would love to become a youtuber, this would be my dream, creating speed drawings to show the way I draw and try and help others along with their drawing. Taking commissions and showing how to sew plush toys as well. If you could subscribe to my channel, that would really help me out… , thanks! :D

I'm a bit of a fangirl and proud, I love nerdy things, cosplay, anime, kpop, asian culture gaming and gigs!I am really into 3OH!3, Mcfly/Busted/McBusted, Hollywood Ending, Son of Dork, Green Day, Owl City, and Avril Lavigne for English bands. However I do listen to a lot of gaming music eheee *blushes*
For K pop I love BIGBANG and G Dragon, SHINee, Teen Top, B.A.P, Block B, 2NE1, EXO, SS501, epik high, super junior, winner and boyfriend.
For J Pop I love Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, BABYMETAL, anime themes, vocaloid Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Ring and Len.
I am also a Doctor Who nerd and I love video games a lot! My all time favourite is Crash Bandicoot because it is my childhood! But I also love Pokemon, Tekken, Harvest Moon, Super Smash Bros, Sonic, GTA, Mario, Spyro, Rayman and occasionally I will play Slender ;) I like youtubers like Pewdiepie, Tobuscus, Ryan Higa, Markiplier and Yamimash :) I'm also a bit of an anime nerd, I love psycho pass and pokemon the most :3 I love going to London MCM expo, cosplaying is hella fun and I love seeing all the anime people :3 (And other cool outfits!)

All time favourite gaming chracter: Dr Neo Cortex :iconneocortexplz:
All time favourite anime character: Shogo Makishima :iconitscloctorart:
All time favourite pokemon character: Team Rocket's James :iconteamrocketplz:
All time favourite Sonic character: Jet the Hawk :iconjetthehawkplz:
All time favourite Doctor: 11th Matt Smith :iconeleventhdoctorplz:
All time favourite Band Member: Tyler Wilson :iconloveheartplz:
All time favourite tekken character: Hwoarang :iconhwoarangplz:
All time favourite youtuber: Tobuscus :icontobyturnerplz:

Besides Drawing and gaming, I like sewing, listening to music, Fimo Sculpting, Animation, playing guitar and anything else creative really :)
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:iconpsnplz: - ClonkerPlonker
My Anime List -…
Red Bubble -…

YouTube Stamp by FelisTipsy Speed-paint is love by Next--LVL Cute Crafts Stamp by li-sa

I am basically just a weird but fun person and I love to laugh. My mental/fantasy dream world is what keeps me happy and sane believe it or not!
-Cloctor x x x :heart:

(If you ship Chlyler, I will love you)

:iconrainbow-cplz: :iconrainbow-lplz: :iconrainbow-oplz: :iconrainbow-cplz: :iconrainbow-tplz: :iconrainbow-oplz: :iconrainbow-rplz:

3OH3 by 3oh3alicious 3OH 3 by winter-ame DO WANT -3oh3 stamp- by PeytonOlivia 3OH3 Fan Stamp by ItsCloctorArt Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh by ItsCloctorArt Dougie Poynter by Kats-Stamps Owl City Stamp by White-Balverine Smile Stamp by Drake1 I Love McFly Stamp by McFit McFly Stamp by Canines dougie stamp 2 by LauRAWR22 Tom Fletcher by Kats-Stamps Danny Jones by Kats-Stamps busted band by hiverchi Adam Young stamp by skull-star Harry Judd Stamp by McFlyFanClub GreenDay-stamp by ZeroIQ5 james bourne stamp 2 by LauRAWR22 I imagine with music Stamp by tastelessfate Rock Music Stamp by Davidgtza2 i love CONCERTS stamp by zombisu Son Of Dork stamp by freedom-seeker infinityonhigh x fall out boy. by Valotoxin stamp: len and rin by Zoeyxlovex Music In Miku by azianwolfdoll Pon Pon Pon stamp by ParamourxLights Big Bang Stamp 2 by JackdawStamps SHINee Animated Stamp by lifeyouvebroken Shinee Taemin funny stamp by Xiahism SS501 Stamp by H-Diddy Teen Top stamp by kinfy G-Dragon . Crayon by Masayi Block B stamp by emrysjung Boom Shaka Laka by D-g-A Megitsune Stamp 001 by heartparasite



Matt Smith Hair Flick Stamp by TwilightProwler DW Flexible Doctor Stamp by TwilightProwler DW Eleven Thumbs Up Stamp by TwilightProwler Eleventh Doctor Stamp by TwilightProwler Matt Smith BOOM Stamp by TwilightProwler Rock Star by fricken-pimp Doctor Who - Fezes are Cool by i-stamp My other car is a TARDIS stamp by CrimsonReach DW Eleven Eyes On You Stamp by TwilightProwler DW Eleven + Stetson Shh Stamp by TwilightProwler DW Eleven What the Hell Stamp by TwilightProwler Stamp Trade with Itscloctorart by ChoccyMilkshake I love Comedy stamp by kinimoto7 Miranda Hart Stamp by WLIIAmg Inbetweeners Stamp by RandomTons It Crowd Fan by StampCollectors IT Crowd Stamp by phazonwarrior the it crowd - stamp by Sabattier The IT Crowd 02 by Monikanarnia Harry Hill Stamp by WLIIAmg I'm A Celebrity Stamp by Kezzi-Rose The Apprentice stamp by Bourbons3 Antony Cotton Stamp! by ItsCloctorArt Get me outta HEEERRRREEEE! by ItsCloctorArt Worst stamp ever by raldski5050 Steven K Amos Stamp by ItsCloctorArt I Support British Comedy Stamp by Aura3107 Theres Somebody At The Door Douglas by ItsCloctorArt I love Big Bang Theory by nekomimipii Sheldon Stamp 3 by Dekaff Penny Penny Penny by SantaiIvy TBBT Leonard Stamp by Dekaff Scooby Doo Stamp by Redquoza Shaggy Zoinks Stamp by TMNT-Raph-fan Team Rocket Stamp by MarkiSan Team Rocket - Badass by Wookiesarebetter BW Rockets stamp by Meroni Stamp-James Fan by sugarbearkitty Stamp James Fan by griff-chii Kojiro-kun - Young James Stamp by KamisStamps Kojiro - James Stamp by KamisStamps Team Rocket Rocket by Potcfreak100 Chris Ramsey Stamp by ItsCloctorArt Benidorm Stamp by Aimee-Valentine-Art Psycho-Pass Stamp by Lunar--Fang Psycho-pass Stamp by YumeBabu-chan PP - Kougami by Absolute-King stamp... by aracelies Kougami Shinya - Stamp by BickslowFT Hooked by Susiruhtinatar Stamp - Shogo Makishima by Taorero Psycho-Pass [Stamp] by BickslowFT Kagari stamp by ClockworkCrooked Yay B-Mo! Stamp by Kawaii-Okami Adventure Time Stamp by Trillo-Lillo Happy Haru -Stamp- by MultiDanita123 Yamaken stamp by FlorOkumura Stamp - Yuzan Yoshida by onionscratch-paper Kotoura-san Stamp by AshleyShiotome Love Stage!! by LaraLeeL Love Stage Stamp (IzumiXryoma) by Rojithaaax Back Stage Stamp by SenaIzumi Shougo Sena (Love Stage Stamp) by Rojithaaax .Skip Beat. Yashiro and Kyoko by uchiha-itachi111 SHOTARO +stamp by AznV Skip Beat Tsuruga Ren stamp by justswell love ... ? by regenbogen-gedopt Stamp Ren x Kyoko 03 by Natzabel Ouran Highschool Host Club Stamp by DogFreak108 Ouran High School Host Club by Ellexon Everybody Hates Chris Stamp by SuperSonicGirl79135 Sonic X by Miss-Dicess Request: Brothers Conflict - Louis Stamp by BeforeIDecay1996 Request: Brothers Conflict - Yusuke Stamp by BeforeIDecay1996 Brothers Conflict Stamp by wow1076 Brothers Conflict Stamp: Natsume X Ema by wow1076

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i luv cortex - stamp by Ahabaychik Crash Bandicoot Stamp by xSweetSlayerx Dr. N. Gin Stamp by xSweetSlayerx Twinsanity Dance Off by ginacartoon Dancing Crash - Stamp by Glowhyena Crash Bandicoot Stamp Animate by link-black-world Jet the Hawk Stamp by catiexshadow wave stamp by PFV0-Stamp Sonic Heroes Stamp by Omegey Sonic Riders by azianwolfdoll Sonic Chronicles Stamp XD by Xelo-TH Arf Arf - NaughtyDog by boomerangmouth Coco Bandicoot Stamp by xSweetSlayerx Dr. N. Tropy Stamp by xSweetSlayerx Super Smash Bros Brawl Stamp by nakashimariku Brawl: Proud Snake User Stamp by WolfTwilight It's Showtime by dazedgumball gta by FediniSTAMPpage Ike Stamp by yukidarkfan Zelda Stamp by yukidarkfan Sonic Shuffle Dance Stamp by Fuzon-S Sonic Stamp by yukidarkfan Like a.... by El-Suhway Sonouge Stamp by ItsCloctorArt Gta Stamp by PrincessTigerLili Games - Rayman 2: the Great Escape by necromantress-stamps Sims 2 Obsessed Stamp by Latias-Flyer Sims play with life by D-g-A Simlish Stamp by theatregeekmania Luigi: More than a sidekick by LiMT-Art Slender Stamp by xLostRemedyx Stamp - The Slender Man by deaddoll00 Harvest Moon Stamp by Colhan3000 FoMT - Gray by EllisStampcollection FoMT - Doctor by EllisStampcollection I Love Trent by Little-Miss-Mello Doctor by just-stamps Harvest Moon Stamp by p-o-c-k-e-t Harvest Moon Skye Love Stamp by DaMee-Momma Trent stamp~ by sosogirl123 Pokemon Nerdism by Ahnyks Sycamore Fan Stamp by Skymint-Stamps Tekken 6 stamp by masterddd Hwoarang Stamp by UltimaArrow Xiaoyu Stamp by UltimaArrow Tekken Fan Stamp by vdaymassacre Lars Stamp by FelesTacita Hwoarang stamp by Nina-Mishima Hwoarang - Stamp by SoulKishin Jin Stamp by UltimaArrow :thumb469367409: Alisa Stamp by UltimaArrow PS3 Owner Stamp by Davidgtza2 Tekken stamp: Hwoarang by Sunshine--lass Xiaoyin - Stamp by BreakingSasuke Miguel Stamp by vdaymassacre Lee Chaolan Stamp 01 by LegendaryDragon90 LARS ALISA stamp10 by SamThePenetrator Cliff stamp~ by sosogirl123 FoMT - Won by EllisStampcollection +Sonic Rush Stamp+ by Fuzon-S Sonaze Fan by VTK-Stamps TailsxAmy Fan by SuperMarioFan Sonadow Stamp by AaliyahSerena I :heart: RCT3 Stamp by Ilona-the-Sinister

-Paul Fan Stamp- by Silvolf Randy Boggs Fan- STAMP :D by Thetruffulacupcake Villains Rule X by renatalmar Shaun of The Dead by please-insert-coins Buck- Ice Age 3 stamp by Kewlink Watch me please xD by mzelBulle Stamp: Wreck it Ralph by Southrobin Fix it Felix - I cant break anythingggg by DragneelGfx Fix-It-Felix Jr. Stamp by Camasaurus I'm An Idiot by renatalmar I'm gonna fav it! by DS-DNA Ooooh A Porch Swing! by ItsCloctorArt Princess Unikitty: Never,ever,ever..EVER! Stamp by xXKawaiiStarXx Simon Pegg Run Fat Boy Run by ItsCloctorArt


PewDiePie Stamp by TwilightProwler Pewdiepie Stamp by HowlingKnight Tobuscus Intro Stamp by sugarpoultry Dubuscus by adaw8leonhelp Yamimash Stamp! by RainPetals MAH BOI Stamp by queen-of-pie BITCH. by VAL0VE Smosh Plays Slender Stamp by unusualKitten Markiplier Stamp~ by MeganeSnow CinnamonToastKen Stamp by Hoitaja TOBY TURNER by Ellexon

My business partner in crime:

:iconkaibutsunee: :iconninimay: <--- One of my bestest friends, I love her a tonne and she's amazing, go watch her! We will collab and help each other in the future :D

Skype Buddy:

:iconsab3600: We speak on skype a lot hehe go watch him he's awesome :) :hug: Add me on skype if you want my name is cloctortardis :)

My Super Sister:

:iconchoccymilkshake: The other half of Team Rocket. My weirdo sister who will waste much time with me, make up characters and stories with me, quote and make me laugh till I choke on tea!


:iconkitkatscookie: she is sooo awesomee we have had so many good laughs :')

My awesome buds I know in real life:

:iconagent-michigan-mia: :icontuyigwee: :iconlincrobert1995: :iconharmer-photography: :iconbodyelectricchapel: :icongatoishwary: :iconartynails: :iconbubblygamerbroccoli:

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Add a Comment:
TurquoiseSpark Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2015
thank you so much for the faves!
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
not a problem! :)
Sasunarukitsune Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2015
Thanks a lot  for the favs ^^
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
no problem gosh you touched my heart so much :') xD
Laisya Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Neko Emoji-28 (Yay sho happy) [V2]  thank you so much for the fave happy cry XD
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
no problem hehee :D
Laisya Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yayoi Takatsuki + Mami Futami Emote - Hug 
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
(1 Reply)
TicketOuttaYear3000 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for the watch! <3
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
no problem :hug:
ginacartoon Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thankies for the favin' 8D
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
No problem :)))
ginacartoon Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thankies for the favin' 8D
turquoisesparkle Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave! :3
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
no problem!! :D
BlueBerry-is-cute Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2015
Thank you for the favorites!!!!!!!!! :)
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Not a problem at all great work!!! :D
ShadowofChaos666 Featured By Owner May 1, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner May 9, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
No problemmm :))
ShadowofChaos666 Featured By Owner May 10, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
kati7514 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav'~ ♥
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Noooo problem :heart:
RomaiLee Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks for the fav on Makishima Shougo - Game by RomaiLee (^_^)

If you're interested please follow my work as a cosplayer here:

if you use Twitter:

I would appreciate it (^^) If it's no interest to you just ignore it ;)
ItsCloctorArt Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Noooo problem, AMAZING cosplay, I love Makishima so much ^.^ I'll follow you on twitter my user is curly_Chloe :D
ChoccyMilkshake Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2015  Student Artist
Your icon, please.. Hamtaro Mouse Emoji-03 (Squee) [V1] 
I love it so much
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